Where the hell did two years go? And how much of a champion am I for remembering my password?

I had to call in sick to work today. I’ve got some sort of icky stomach bug. I’m really not that cool with having to use the public restrooms at work on a good day, much less one where the intestinal workings are in an uproar. I had some chicken soup for lunch and so far, I’m feeling fine. I’m now eyeballing a Mississippi Mud Pie Ice Cream Sandwich that’s in the freezer but I’m pretty sure that’s a bad idea. Trying to resist that particular call.

By the way-If something ever, ever, EVER posesses you to eat some cool ranch doritos, followed by a twinkie and then a big glasss of orange juice? Trust me when I tell you that it’s a very bad idea. I did that a few weeks ago and I swear, I was the sickest I have ever been. All my morning sickness has been gone and that was like a dive back into some seriously unfriendly territory. Doritos do not feel good coming back up.

 We’re 20 weeks and 5 days today. I felt the baby move a week ago, Sunday. It’s been weirdest thing so far. It’s awesome and breathtaking on one hand and then just freaky on the other. On the awesome and breathtaking side, I am feeling my baby move. On the freaky side, it feels like I have a goldfish in my gut. I missed the fluttery, butterfly wing stage and went right to floppy and kicky. It’s definitely comforting to be able to feel something happening every single day, though. Nothing is strong enough for Arnie to feel yet, that is killing him. He’s very impatient and Goldie here seems to take after his daddy on the stubborn front. Anytime Arnie even looks at my stomach, the baby completely stops. It’s like he’s all squished in there, holding his breath and trying not to move. Then his Daddy gives up and he breaks into giggles and I feel him all over the place.

In other news, we’ve had some exciting developments with the pregnancy. Remember that whole, “We’re a boy and we’re so excited!” post? We’re still excited, we’re just not so sure it’s a boy.

We’ve had two ultrasounds say boy and the latest one said girl but all three have been done by different people. Got some time? Let me explain.

Ultrasound was done at 15 weeks, 5 days. This is where my regular ob was a little concerned that I might have a fun case of Placenta Previa. He sent me to radiologist clinic, where they have better equipment, to confirm. Also tells us that it looks like we’re having a little boy. To my untrained eye, it looks like a boy. Sideways view, not between legs.

Ultrasound #2 was done at 16 weeks, everything looks good. The placenta is a little low but don’t really think it’s anything to worry about for now. Will re-evaluate at later date. Technician also thinks it’s a boy. But she’s doesn’t really spend much time looking. Another sideways view. Spend afternoon at local mall, buying darling blue clothes with very excited mother-in-law.

Lead up to ultrasound #3. Call from Doctor B at 16 weeks, 6 days. Radiologist has gone over films and thinks there may be cysts on the baby’s brain and fluid on the kidneys. Very low chance but wants to send me to specialist to alleviate worries.

Ultrasound #3 at 17 weeks. Nothing to worry about. Brain and kidneys look great. Baby receives “A+” as far as he’s concerned. Oh, and he thinks it’s a girl. FINALLY get a picture. This time, it’s a between the legs shot.

I, myself? I cannot tell. I can’t tell shit from satin in ultrasound pictures. Either way: Baby, I am sorry for showing your business on the internet. It looks like it could possibly be the vulva? But it’s an underneath view, so it could also be testicles and the actual penis is pointing away. What do you think?

Okay, how on earth has it been a month since I posted last? It certainly doesn’t seem like time has been going by that fast. Honestly, I’m not nearly as good at this blogging thing as I thought I would be. I kind of suck. : )

We found out some exciting news on Monday. We’re having a boy! It’s funny because almost everyone that’s taken a guess has said they think we’re having a girl. But two ultrasounds this week-done by different people, both said it was a boy. Before Doctor B even asked if we wanted to know, I could already see. It was plainly obvious. Arnie is so proud, lol. I’m so content and so happy and so giddy right now.

I still haven’t gained any weight yet but the baby appears to be growing just fine. When you’ve had something like a gastric bypass and you’re not gaining weight, it’s kind of scary. Even though I know I eat enough..more than enough, really-I was still worried out of my mind. But Doctor B says that as long as I’m not losing weight drastically and the baby is still growing, then he’s not worried.

We did get a bit of a scare on Monday, though. The doctor thought the placenta was lying really low and was worried about that not clearing up before delivery. He sent us in for another scan at a clinic with better equipment and the tech/radiologist that did that one said that they didn’t see it being a problem. That technically they wouldn’t have even qualified it as “low”. I’m reassured and feeling much better about it. But that first time that you go home and Dr. Google tells you all about Placenta Previa, it scares the shit out of you. I’m still taking it easy when I can, not lifting anything heavy, etc, etc. We’ll have a follow-up ultrasound later just to confirm. I’m all about taking a peek at this baby whenever I can.

I cannot believe that we’re going to have a little boy. It still completely floors me that I am pregnant. That I’m a little over 16 weeks. That this baby is growing inside of me. That it’s half me and half Arnie and I just can’t believe how lucky I am. I’ve never been so thankful of anything in my entire life and I just wish I had the words and ability to express this.

When that first swishswishswish was heard, Arnie started laughing. He tends to do that when he’s nervous or excited.

He looked at the doctor, as serious as could be and said “I’m sorry. I giggle.”

He’s going to be the best daddy in the entire fucking world and I cannot wait to see that.

Has anyone but me ever heard of this dish? My grandpa used to love it, he said it was something that he’d had in the Navy. He always called it Slum Gullion. I’ve looked it up online before but can’t find anything that’s exactly like this. It’s canned corned beef, chopped and cooked with stewed tomatoes, peas and served over rice. Sounds vile, I know..but it’s really, really…really delicious. Quite possibly one of my favorite foods in the world. Right up there with hummus dip, moussaka and macaroni and cheese.

Doctor’s appointment on Monday. We should be 12w4d then. I’m ready, ready, ready. Nervous as hell, though. I’ve been pretty positive lately but every once in awhile, I have this thought that Monday may be the last day that I think I’m pregnant. I’m working real hard to not think that way, though. Easier said than done, obviously.

I’ve actually bought a few things for the baby. I’m a big reader and I want to encourage that in any child that I have, so I’ve already started on my collection for that. So far we have Puff the Magic Dragon, Favorite Storybook Ever by Richard Scarry, The Dangerous Book for Boys, The Velveteen Rabbit, 1001 Pirate Things to Spot and The Giving Tree. The Velveteen Rabbit was always a favorite of mine and Richard Scarry was a childhood favorite, too. But The Giving Tree..that book holds a special place in my heart. My sisters and I would sit with my grandmother to read that and each picture is so familar and so comforting. I cannot wait to share that memory with my baby.

I also let my mother-in-law buy a package of onesies. She’s been so great, respecting my wishes about not getting too excited too early. I finally had to cave and let her buy something. I know it’s our baby first but this is her first grandchild and I’m not going to rob her of her Grandma experience. We kind of went and looked at cribs, too. Not to buy, I promise! Just to look. I saw one at an unpainted furniture store that I just fell in love with. Head over heels, will pawn everything I have to own this crib in love. Love, love, love. The only problem with it is that it’s quite a bit more than I was wanting to pay but you’d understand if you saw this crib. I bought a new camera, so whenever I’m in that part of town again, I’ll try to take a picture when the sales lady isn’t looking.

Speaking of new cameras, I love mine. The digital camera I had before was shite. This records video and has much better quality. I also bought a 4 gig flash card for it, so I should be able to take more pictures than my old camera could. It held a whopping 35 pictures at a time. Hopefully I’ll be able to record part of the doctor’s, so I’ll have a permanent record of the heartbeat. Is it Monday yet?

Seriously. How about now?

 I’m going to go watch some recorded America’s Next Top Model. I know who wins but I haven’t seen this season yet and I looove me some Tyra.

I’ve got a cold and it sucks. I’m snotty and sneezy and Tylenol isn’t really doing jack shit. But it’s better than nothing, I guess.

I know I’ve been complete shit at writing lately and I’m going to regret it one of these days. When I try to look back and remember how the first trimester went, I’m going to be like, “What the hell happened to me for two weeks?” I’ve actually got a pretty good explanation. I’m scared as hell. I’m a little superstitious, too. I think I’m afraid that if I write down what’s happening, it’s like I’m pushing my luck. Like I’m just sneaking under the radar right now but if I say too much about the baby, it’s like God’s going to say..”Oh, yeah! She was supposed to miscarry! Almost forgot to do that one, whoops!” I’m not even religious, so I don’t know where this is coming from.

Next doctor’s appointment is July 9th. We’re supposed to just listen for the heartbeat but I’m really hoping that Doctor B will let us slip in an ultrasound. Arnie wasn’t able to make the last appointment and I really want him to see more than just a picture. And I might want to take a peek myself, possibly.

We have a heartbeat! Baby measuring 8weeks4days. I have never felt so good in my entire life. I will scan the photo later. Holy shit, I was scared this morning but I feel incredible now.

Ultrasound is Monday, 9:15 am. I’m sorry I’ve been shit at writing and updating lately. I’ve been busy at work and honestly, I’ve been just been trying to not think about anything. It’s worked and I only have today and Sunday to make it through.

I’m still getting sick in the afternoons and evenings. And I’m developing a stomach. Not that I was ever flat before but I could always stand up straight and suck it in. Now that trick doesn’t really work so well. I definitely think it’s because I’m having to eat constantly to keep from being ill during the day. I try to stick to fruits, vegetables, etc..but sometimes I run out of snacks and I’m forced to raid the vending machines at work. I’ve been off of sweets lately, which is shocking. I usually have a such a sweet tooth and none of that stuff even sounds remotely appealing. The sweetest thing I can handle are granola bars. Even those I have to force down..but they keep the nausea away better than anything for some reason. I came dangerously close to throwing up in public the other day. I was at wal-mart after work and I walked through the door and caught a whiff of some horrible, horrible smell. Bad enough that it started my stomach churning and I started to get that build up of spit in the mouth. When I get that, it’s usually just a given that I’m going to throw up, there’s nothing I can do. I started trying to calculate the distance to the bathrooms, looking for a trashcan, anything. My only options were to vomit in my purse (yeah, not happening) or to head for the cardboard recycle box, where you can put your empty plastic sacks. Luckily, I escaped the smell and managed to close my eyes and envision unicorns and tulips and shimmering trails of stardust and the urge to puke went away. That would have been embarassing but I was not going to toss my cookies into my own purse, I just changed to a new one a few days ago.

So, two more days and I’ll hopefully have some good news.