you take the good, you take the bad, you take ‘em both and there you have…

I’m terribly sorry. I’ve been hiding under a rock lately. But it’s cool and it’s shady and no one really talks to me, they just sneak chocolate creme oreos to me. You do realize there’s no calories in food if someone else sneaks it to you, right?

I had a minor incident of spotting on Wednesday morning and then again Thursday night. And when I say minor..I mean VERY minor. It was definitely just a tinged discharge more than anything. And only about a spot about as big as my thumbnail and just the one time each.

But it was enough to freak me out. I tend to panic and dive headfirst into doom and gloom in times of trouble. That way I’m prepared if it’s bad news and pleasantly surprised when things turn out well. I went to the doctor, he’s examined me and said everything looks fine. We got my ultrasound date moved up to the 11th, so that’s coming soon. Please let everything be alright.

I had a bad day yesterday. I had convinced myself that everything was over, the end of the pregnancy..then I got slammed with very intense morning sickness at bedtime last night, so I feel a little better today. I feel well enough that I’m actually considering eating something nutritious today and I’m no longer eyeing the leftover vodka in the freezer.

back to the grindstone

Not much time to update, I’m on a quick lunch break at home. My morning sickness still makes me feel like I’m trying to read in a car-

If said car was careening down a mountain side with no one driving it. It’s actually not bad in the morning at all. It kicks in around lunch time and lingers all day. Then it goes away for a bit but comes right back around bedtime. Very strong at bedtime. I’m laying there trying to sleep and if Arnie even moves the tiniest bit, I’m very queasy. I haven’t thrown up yet, though. No dry-heaving either, unless I brush too far back on my tongue.

I couldn’t be happier though. I know that having morning sickness doesn’t guarantee that everything will be perfect but since I didn’t have any last time….In my mind, this logically means that something different is happening inside. Gotta run, I’m already late!

Going back after a three-day weekend SUCKS, by the way.

Arnie says “thanks a freakin’ lot!”, grown-up kevin arnold.

Damn. I had such good intentions last night.

I had big plans to seduce the husband and rock his world with my crazy mad ho blowjob skillz, yo.

I couldn’t even stay awake the three minutes that he was in the shower. It’s not my fault, though. I was watching a tivo’d episode of the Wonder Years, Kevin’s grown-up narrative voice was so smooth. And so soothing. And I was so tired. And my pillow was so soft.

ten random things

I’ve been tagged by canape, thanks! I’ve been meaning to do this for a few days now but I’ve had zero enthusiasm for doing anything that requires the tiniest bit of energy. So, here we go..ten random things about me. I hope you still love me in the morning.

1. I write out Christmas cards to my deceased grandparents. I’m not silly enough to mail them but it makes me feel better to imagine that I’m letting them know what’s going on in my life. They never got to see me in love and they’re never going to see my future children. Not having them here is a huge, huge void in my life and doing this fills it up just a little.

2. I have to blow in my shoes before I put them on. I saw a show on the Discovery Channel once about spiders liking to build nests in shoes. So, now I’ve convinced myself that if I blow in my shoes, it will loosen the spider. Then I tap on them and hope I tap the pissed of spider out before I put my feet in there. I know this is dumb. But hey, I’m going on almost 29-years of being spider bite free!

3. I’m a bit terrified of clowns. Okay, so maybe it’s a crippling fear. When I was a kid, there was a small amusement park here called Fair Park. They had this gigantic animatronics clown set up in front of the Ghost House. Her name was Laughing Sally. She’d rock back and forth and laugh. And laugh and laugh. God, she was horrible.

4. I always put my left shoe on first. I don’t know why this is.

5. I find school supplies exciting. The smell of new paper and pencils and a pretty new box to put them in? This probably part of the reason why I want kids. I simply can’t wait to take them back to school shopping.

6. I have reoccurring dreams about the devil. I had one particular dream about him a few years ago that still gives me chills when I think about it. I dreamt I was at a big party and there was this beautiful man walking around. He was bare-chested and had waist-long, flaming red hair. I knew he was the devil but everyone else was treating him like he was the most popular guy there. I couldn’t understand why they couldn’t see that he was evil. I finally walked up to him and asked, “Why am I the only one that knows you’re the devil?” and he just said, “Because you’re special.”

7. I was very close to my Grandma. My most treasured possession is a letter from her. She wrote it to me about five years before she died and kept it with her will and other important papers. It just said that she loved me and was thankful for all the years she had with me. I keep it in my jewelry box and I think about her every single day. I was also sitting by her side when she died. I held her hand and brushed her hair back from her face. Until my children are born, this will be the most precious moment of my life. Her maiden name was Dragon, so I have a tattoo of one for her on my hip.

8. My favorite food in the entire world is something called Slumgullion. It’s canned corned beef, stewed tomatoes and peas; mixed together and served over white rice. It sounds horrible but it’s so delicious. This was something they served my Grandpa in the Navy, so it always felt like a special meal to me, like he was sharing a part of his history. My husband would divorce me if he knew I had an evil plot to make my children like this dish as much as I do.

9. I am obsessed with the movie Labyrinth. Jareth, you  make me feel things in loins that as a married woman, I should be ashamed to feel.

10. I was a virgin until I met Arnie. I’m not religious, so I wasn’t saving myself for any noble cause. I just hadn’t met the right person yet. And since I gave it up on our second date, it certainly wasn’t because I had such great morals.

 I tag anyone who doesn’t have their own blog and just wants to write their answers in the comments!