prettypissy

I’ve got a cold and it sucks. I’m snotty and sneezy and Tylenol isn’t really doing jack shit. But it’s better than nothing, I guess.

I know I’ve been complete shit at writing lately and I’m going to regret it one of these days. When I try to look back and remember how the first trimester went, I’m going to be like, “What the hell happened to me for two weeks?” I’ve actually got a pretty good explanation. I’m scared as hell. I’m a little superstitious, too. I think I’m afraid that if I write down what’s happening, it’s like I’m pushing my luck. Like I’m just sneaking under the radar right now but if I say too much about the baby, it’s like God’s going to say..”Oh, yeah! She was supposed to miscarry! Almost forgot to do that one, whoops!” I’m not even religious, so I don’t know where this is coming from.

Next doctor’s appointment is July 9th. We’re supposed to just listen for the heartbeat but I’m really hoping that Doctor B will let us slip in an ultrasound. Arnie wasn’t able to make the last appointment and I really want him to see more than just a picture. And I might want to take a peek myself, possibly.

We have a heartbeat! Baby measuring 8weeks4days. I have never felt so good in my entire life. I will scan the photo later. Holy shit, I was scared this morning but I feel incredible now.

Ultrasound is Monday, 9:15 am. I’m sorry I’ve been shit at writing and updating lately. I’ve been busy at work and honestly, I’ve been just been trying to not think about anything. It’s worked and I only have today and Sunday to make it through.

I’m still getting sick in the afternoons and evenings. And I’m developing a stomach. Not that I was ever flat before but I could always stand up straight and suck it in. Now that trick doesn’t really work so well. I definitely think it’s because I’m having to eat constantly to keep from being ill during the day. I try to stick to fruits, vegetables, etc..but sometimes I run out of snacks and I’m forced to raid the vending machines at work. I’ve been off of sweets lately, which is shocking. I usually have a such a sweet tooth and none of that stuff even sounds remotely appealing. The sweetest thing I can handle are granola bars. Even those I have to force down..but they keep the nausea away better than anything for some reason. I came dangerously close to throwing up in public the other day. I was at wal-mart after work and I walked through the door and caught a whiff of some horrible, horrible smell. Bad enough that it started my stomach churning and I started to get that build up of spit in the mouth. When I get that, it’s usually just a given that I’m going to throw up, there’s nothing I can do. I started trying to calculate the distance to the bathrooms, looking for a trashcan, anything. My only options were to vomit in my purse (yeah, not happening) or to head for the cardboard recycle box, where you can put your empty plastic sacks. Luckily, I escaped the smell and managed to close my eyes and envision unicorns and tulips and shimmering trails of stardust and the urge to puke went away. That would have been embarassing but I was not going to toss my cookies into my own purse, I just changed to a new one a few days ago.

So, two more days and I’ll hopefully have some good news.